Welcome to Camp Half-Blood – Ten Signs You May Be a Half-Blood

The following quiz is presented for amusement only. There is no truth to any of it. Honest. Remember how many times you answered “YES.” At the end of the quiz, you will be able to score your results.

Question #1: You suspect that one or more of your teachers is not human.
This alone does not prove much. Most teachers are some form of monster.
However, if any teacher takes a particular interest in torturing you, beware.

Question #2: You have been diagnosed with ADHD.
ADHD doesn’t mean you can’t pay attention. You might be able to focus incredibly well on something important, but you have trouble filtering out sights and sounds around you, especially if the teacher is asking you to focus on something boring. For instance, a dryad might be emerging from an oak tree right outside your classroom window, and your teacher yells at you for not copying the last three math problems. You may have a lot of energy (this is the hyperactive part) which makes it hard for you to sit still for an entire class period. You may also be impulsive, and do or say whatever comes into your mind. These symptoms are extremely common in young heroes. They indicate superior battle skills and reflexes which will keep you alive.

Question #3: You have been diagnosed with dyslexia.
Dyslexia means you have difficulty processing written information. Words may float off the page. Reading can be torture. You are just as smart or smarter than anybody else, but your eyes and your brain don’t seem to communicate when it comes to writing. Half-bloods see levels of reality that other children just don’t see. In the case of writing, the half-blood’s brain is hard-wired for Ancient Greek, which causes modern languages to get scrambled as the half-blood tries to process the information.

Question #4: You have experienced things that you cannot explain.
This need not be as dramatic as a sea monster rearing out of the ocean or a policeman growing horns in front of your eyes, though both of these have been reported. Perhaps you have seen a window shatter for no reason or heard a shot or explosion that cannot be explained. Perhaps you have observed an adult acting strangely, then had this adult later deny he or she did anything unusual. These might be signs that you have seen through the Mist – the veil that keeps regular mortal eyes from perceiving monstrous forces at work. The more you glimpse through the Mist, the better the odds that you have Olympian blood.

Question #6: You sometimes wonder if your father or mother is your real parent.
At one time or another, most mortal children fantasize that their “real parents” are someone other than the people they live with. Normally, this is only a fantasy. For half-bloods, however, it may be the truth. Understandably, a mortal parent may be reluctant to reveal the truth to a half-blood child because of the danger and misery that goes along with being a god’s offspring. Also, your parent may be embarrassed to admit he/she had a relationship with a god, even though such behavior is not technically illegal (except in Mississippi).

Question #7: You have a friend who doesn’t seem quite . . . normal.
Most schools have at least one satyr on duty. Your friend may be that satyr. Things to watch for: hair big enough to cover small goat horns; a willingness to eat pretty much anything; a reluctance to go swimming or otherwise expose his legs; a laugh like a barnyard animal’s. Some satyrs are better than others about passing themselves off as human, but one or more of these telltale signs will always be present.

Question #8: You feel you are being watched when alone or followed when there is no one behind you.
This may be nothing but overactive nerves. On the other hand, there is always the possibility that monsters are keeping tabs on you. Favorite places for monsters to hide include bedroom closets, basements, thick shrubberies and school restrooms.

Question #9:
You have a vivid recurring dream, or you can manipulate your own dreams.
For most mortals, dreams are simply the mind’s way of sorting through information or working out problems while you sleep. Half-bloods, on the other hand, frequently receive omens or warnings while they sleep. They are also able to manipulate their dreams. Mid-dream, they may decide they’d rather not have a nightmare about getting flayed alive by harpies, and decide instead to dream about attending a pig-roasting luau in Elysium.

Question #10: You have a phobia that doesn’t seem logical, such as spiders, enclosed places, heights or deep water.

Irrational fears may be more rational than you think. Often, half-bloods are born with a natural fear of anything that their Olympian parents hate. For example, children of Hephaestus fear high places and have nightmares about falling. This comes from the god’s childhood, when he was thrown from Mount Olympus by Zeus. Children of Aphrodite live in terror of acne medicine commercials and shoes that do not match their outfits.

Results:
If you answered YES to 8 or more questions:
You are very probably a half-blood. Be careful! Seek help no later than your twelfth birthday.

If you answered YES to 5-7 questions: You risk level is borderline. You may have some Olympian blood in your ancestry. It is also possible you are the offspring of a minor god or goddess. Unless your warning indicators increase, you will probably be able to live in the mortal world.

If you answered YES to 3-4 questions:
It is unlikely you are a half-blood. You may simply have a good imagination or be slightly more attuned to the monstrous world than the average human.

If you answered YES to 0-2 questions:
You are 100% mortal. Relax. You will most likely never have to deal with Olympians or monsters except in stories.